"Cross my paypal with credits and I'll read your keyboard"

I think personal keyboards are the new time capsules.

People spend more time in front of their computers now than they did 10 years ago. Many hours per a day, several days a week are spent there. Those not of the anal retentive persuasion eat, drink and and do other things in front of the computer.

What's trapped behind [and on] keys says a lot about a person.

For instance, my keyboard would be a blessing for an archaeologist as its almost a complete archive of my personal habits.

I have a black battered keyboard. Beneath the keys is a jungle of fuzzy tobacco, ash, loose hair and dog hair. On the keyboard itself there's always a few ash-turds, little melted spots, mass amount of grime and a generous smattering of suspect human fluids.

My favourite keys are 2, spacebar, M, A, N and >. The 'control', 'windows' and F3 [which brings up the 'find' toolbar] keys are covered in thick grime as if never used.

Maybe there's a new job description out there? keyboard readers are the new palm/tarot readers: "I see you have a history of homosexual activity and have a reluctance to commit as you feel people are inferior to you. I also see that you have no control in your life and cant find your path. You also have a lack of vitamin B and will die of lung cancer."

Dept. of Awful Warnings

A hyperventilating David Thomson adds a new entry to his Biographical Dictionary of Film. In the meantime, Rex Reed is just so over it.

Kylie

Our Kylie received an OBE yesterday.


Outside, in the Palace's courtyard in the sunshine after the ceremony, the pop start took questions graciously. The thing that made her nervous was deciding "what to wear". No tears, just excitement. "I was overwhelmed, nervous, I am so honoured." she said.

Is that her excuse for looking like she's a wearing a children's talent show curtain?

Yay for the Segway!

Awww, look everyone! China invented the 'Shoot and Scoot'! Nice work guys!