Terminator Salvation - The Musical

What's better than a Christian Bale film about killer cyborgs? Making up songs about Christian Bale films about killer cyborgs! Treat your eyes and ears to this fantastic number, bought to you by Milkcrate and Interested Pigeon Productions.

Katie Watch

Wonderful news has come to our attention here at Milkcrate. According to several sources on the Information Super Highway, Katie Holmes is "looking forward" to filming her "character driven" thriller set to start shooting in Melbourne next month.

The almost too ironically named blog TomKat Crazy tells us that Katie's usual entourage will be on toe - previous son-in-law to Australia Tom Cruise with poor little Suri Cruise, thus fixing the Australian economy even more.

I wonder if Posh and Becks will flock over for a bit of oranging in the Chapel Street sun? I see a new segment coming to Milkcrate - Victoria in Victoria anyone?

Welcome to Katie-Watch - So Much to Half-Smile About.

By now, those of us in Melbourne are thrilled to have learned Katie Holmes is set to shoot a thriller in ol' Melbourne Town.

A couple of weeks ago, we busted open our copy of The Age, to discover not only will Katie be gracing the Docklands with her oh-so-cute* half-smile, she'll also be boosting the local production sector thus FIXING the Australian economy!

Amazing.

It's only fit that Milkcrate Magazine - Melbourne's very own blog dedicated to all things completely unrelated to milkcrates - brings you Katie-Watch (TM). When Katie lands in our fair country with her crazy religion and her mad attempts at acting, we'll be right here, on the internet, bringing you the news.

The film will be a remake of the 1973 telemovie Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark which is due to begin shooting in coming months. It has been written and will be produced by Guillermo del Toro, who recently produced the very scary El Orphanto. Creepy dead kids with sacks on their head - the stuff of nightmares. A little like Katie's oh-so-cute* half-smile.

*May actually be more vom-inducing than oh-so-cute.

Dept. of Awful Warnings

A hyperventilating David Thomson adds a new entry to his Biographical Dictionary of Film. In the meantime, Rex Reed is just so over it.

I love you, PeePee

I remember years ago sitting in a beer garden somewhere with fellow Milkcrate writer, Soira, telling her about my love of Parker Posey.

The night before I'd had a dream about her singing "God Loves A Terrier" from Best In Show to me [which she didnt sing in the film, which is a shame]. I believe this was because before I went to bed I was listening to Ryan Adams album Rock'N'Roll where she lends her somewhat surprising backing vocals to and wrote a song together.

Anyway, I spend a great many drunken hours preaching about the wonders of Parker Posey - or PeePee as I like to call her, that night.

She had just broken up with Ryan Adams, and I was a little heartbroken. I missed reading interviews where she's mentioned nosing around and sometimes taking part on the interview. I missed reading blogs reporting that the writer had just spotting them in a comic shop/video shop /walking down the street off their chops at any time of the day/night. They were my ideal couple - both a bit spazz and so very wonderful.

It pained me to see photos of Ryan wearing a Batman shirt while she was off filming Superman Returns. I wanted them to sort out their strange way of bickering and just get back together so my favourite nutbag actress and my favourite nutbag musician can be in nutbag-love again.

She's one of those actresses that is amazing and hilarious and steals every scene she's in [and knows how to play the mandolin!] and I believe she's very underused.

Parker Posey Trivia:
Did you know that PeePee was considered for the role of Rachel in Friends?
Did you know that PeePee was considered for the role that went to Cameron Diaz in My Best Friends Wedding?

If she had got both of those roles, I probably would be a fan of both.
Friends would have been unmissable instead of being unbearable. Imagine Rupert Everett and PeePee in the same film together!

Why doesnt she get all the roles she deserves? I think I've figured the reason.
She was born in Baltimore, Maryland, home and playground for John Waters, Tori Amos, John Astin [who played Gomez Addams in the tv series The Addams Family], David Byrne of Talking Heads, David Hasselhoff , Jeff Koons [strange artist who made a sculpture of a puppy out of flowers], Jada Pinkett-Smith [who is now a scientologist] and Sisqó [the guy who did that 'Thong Song'.

As you can see from that list, there's something in the water in Baltimore. It makes you unconventional and a little strange.

PeePee started out on television in a daytime soap opera. I cant quite imagine her being in a soap opera unless its a scene in a Christopher Guest mockumentary (if you havenit seen For Your Consideration or Best In Show, you MUST).

I was so happy to hear that she's going to be in John Waters new film, Fruitcake. Its a match made in [Baltimore] heaven!

I haven't seen You've Got Mail that stars the two most obnoxious people in the world bar Julia Roberts, but apparently PeePee's in that. I bet she's amazing. And she almost saved Superman Returns from being the big pile of steaming torturingly bad dogshit that we know it as. Even Kevin "I'm in the closet and I'm never ever, ever, coming out!" Spacey couldn't save that wreck. I went and saw that in the cinema just because she was in it.
See, that's how much I love Pee Pee.

[Dear PeePee, get back with Ryan, for the sake of the children! ie. me!]

Note added by NikkiMaloo: The ever-charming Parker Posey also plays the title character in Fay Grim, which opens at independent cinemas around Melbourne tomorrow. This almost-parody film about espionage sees PeePee jetted to France in order to recover some books written by her former husband in the director's last film Henry Fool, which, instead of being the boring jibberish they were initially deemed as, turn out to be code containing U.S. political secrets and are being hunted globally by the Russian AND Arabic governments. Sounds like a lot of twoddle doesn't it? Well it is, but Parker Posey shines through.

The Latest in Atrocities

Sequels.

Is there anything more likely to destroy a cult film?

The answer - No.

Forever after any discussion of the film will no longer be talk of the films attributes but of the sequels short comings.

"I loved that movie" will forever have the suffix "but not the sequel."

And the latest to suffer this act of malicious sabotage?

The ominous self-enclosed film about coming to terms with life and death and where one stands between them.

Donnie Darko.

I'm sorry. This isn't a practical joke. This film is in production as we speak.

Donnie Darko's writer/director Richard Kelly has stated on his blog at MySpace
"I haven't read this script. I have absolutely no involvement with this production, nor will I ever
be involved.

I have no control over the rights from our original film, and neither I
nor my producing partner Sean McKittrick stand to make any money from
this film."

Why do bad things happen to good films?

The Sequel's script was written by someone called Nathan Atkins... (??) and is to be directed by Chris Fisher, whose previous works include the critical and commercial failures - Nightstalker, Dirty, and Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders.

Fisher has stated: "I am a great admirer of Richard Kelly's film and hope to create a similar world of blurred fantasy and reality."

Which is good, because we all know that when trying to emulate someone else's vision, you're doomed certain of success!

It seems that only one person from the original has decided to return - Daviegh Chase will reprise her role as Donnie's younger sister Samantha Darko.


From Screen Daily:

"The story picks up seven years after the first film (and Donnie's death) when little sister Samantha Darko and her best friend Corey are now 18 and on a roadtrip to Los Angeles when they are plagued by bizarre visions.
[...]

Simon Crowe of Velvet Octopus added: "I think there is a new generation of cinema-goers who will be very excited to see this film."
[...]

Crowe quipped to ScreenDaily: "Donnie's not in [the new film] but there are meteorites and rabbits."


Well then. At least there's rabbits.