Terminator Salvation - The Musical

What's better than a Christian Bale film about killer cyborgs? Making up songs about Christian Bale films about killer cyborgs! Treat your eyes and ears to this fantastic number, bought to you by Milkcrate and Interested Pigeon Productions.

Double Wrongtown

Here at Milkcrate we're against camel toes. We haven't had a meeting about how we feel about Lady Gaga yet, but I'm pretty sure everyone feels the same way about her as I do.

Here she is in Sydney wearing a CARAZY! outfit. What a shy, but oh-so-individual, petal she is.

It's eurovision time

so to brush up on our Eurovision song writing skills, i hand it over to Neil Hannon...



Terry Wogan wont be hosting the english speaking version this year, but Graham Norton will be! I have faith in Mr Norton he'll bring in the [extra] lolz.

Happiness Is Jarvis Cocker Spelling His Name

We at Milkcrate were especially excited the receive the following email last night:

As we're sure some of you are already aware, the man is back, so is his groove and he wants to share it with you. Hence, he's giving a series of dance, music and aerobics classes for you all to enjoy live via the Internets right now, or more specifically 12pm til 6pm Parisian time. If
you haven't logged on already, then we're sad to inform you of some of the things you've missed; Jarvis managing a musically accompanied yoga class, a beautiful belly dancer, performing hard rock with class of over excited 8 year olds and numerous jam sessions with an eclectic mix of locals fresh off the street.

So visit http://jarviscocker.net without delay and don't forget to grab your free Mp3 from the imminent "Further Complications."

So without further adew we give you not only music from the man himself, but a spiffy little clip of him spelling his name with big plastic letters.

DEATH TO MUSIC!

A new club night starting on the 31st of october, all DJ's play songs from one year only.

This Week:
Digging up the most diverse and influential music from the year 1978, and only 1978.

Stay tuned to see which years they'll be doing each week at:
http://www.myspace.com/deathtomusicclub
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Melbourne-Australia/Death-To-Music/58177056040?ref=nf

Check it out. ITS FREE!

Updateyness: Ryan Adams Responds To Courtney Love

Ryan Adams has finally responded to the claims that he stole from Courtney Love and from her daughter Frances Bean to fund his album 'Rock And Roll".

"I've been dealing with the truth that I have at times been a bad example and/or glorified self destructive behavior. This was never intentional, but rather a consequence of leading a public life in plain sight and never expecting any sort of preferential treatment, isolation or protection," states Adams.

"I've realized and accepted that if people decide to dislike me, they're going to find reasons to justify disliking me. There's nothing I can do about that. That said, it still does pain me to be accused of fictional crimes against innocents or to be implicated in romantic gossip involving the possibly reality-challenged--however unreliable the source or outlandish the accusations. In the end, however, I know that I have never done or even meant anyone any harm."

Greetings from the Slack-Asses at Milkcrate

Firstly, I would like to welcome you all to the new financial year! Isn't it exciting!? Why don't we get a Financial New Year's Eve? Is partying like it's 1999 really to be restricted to once a year? Bar humbug (or similar).

Anyway now for some news in which Ryan Adams apparently stole a milliondy bucks from Courtney Love's spawn Frances Bean Cobain to make his 2003 albulm Rock'n'Roll. Apparently because Courtney has 29 credit cards, it took her a few years to notice .. hmmm. Ryan, why aren't you blogging anymore? We want to hear your side. And a song about it.

I love you, PeePee

I remember years ago sitting in a beer garden somewhere with fellow Milkcrate writer, Soira, telling her about my love of Parker Posey.

The night before I'd had a dream about her singing "God Loves A Terrier" from Best In Show to me [which she didnt sing in the film, which is a shame]. I believe this was because before I went to bed I was listening to Ryan Adams album Rock'N'Roll where she lends her somewhat surprising backing vocals to and wrote a song together.

Anyway, I spend a great many drunken hours preaching about the wonders of Parker Posey - or PeePee as I like to call her, that night.

She had just broken up with Ryan Adams, and I was a little heartbroken. I missed reading interviews where she's mentioned nosing around and sometimes taking part on the interview. I missed reading blogs reporting that the writer had just spotting them in a comic shop/video shop /walking down the street off their chops at any time of the day/night. They were my ideal couple - both a bit spazz and so very wonderful.

It pained me to see photos of Ryan wearing a Batman shirt while she was off filming Superman Returns. I wanted them to sort out their strange way of bickering and just get back together so my favourite nutbag actress and my favourite nutbag musician can be in nutbag-love again.

She's one of those actresses that is amazing and hilarious and steals every scene she's in [and knows how to play the mandolin!] and I believe she's very underused.

Parker Posey Trivia:
Did you know that PeePee was considered for the role of Rachel in Friends?
Did you know that PeePee was considered for the role that went to Cameron Diaz in My Best Friends Wedding?

If she had got both of those roles, I probably would be a fan of both.
Friends would have been unmissable instead of being unbearable. Imagine Rupert Everett and PeePee in the same film together!

Why doesnt she get all the roles she deserves? I think I've figured the reason.
She was born in Baltimore, Maryland, home and playground for John Waters, Tori Amos, John Astin [who played Gomez Addams in the tv series The Addams Family], David Byrne of Talking Heads, David Hasselhoff , Jeff Koons [strange artist who made a sculpture of a puppy out of flowers], Jada Pinkett-Smith [who is now a scientologist] and Sisqó [the guy who did that 'Thong Song'.

As you can see from that list, there's something in the water in Baltimore. It makes you unconventional and a little strange.

PeePee started out on television in a daytime soap opera. I cant quite imagine her being in a soap opera unless its a scene in a Christopher Guest mockumentary (if you havenit seen For Your Consideration or Best In Show, you MUST).

I was so happy to hear that she's going to be in John Waters new film, Fruitcake. Its a match made in [Baltimore] heaven!

I haven't seen You've Got Mail that stars the two most obnoxious people in the world bar Julia Roberts, but apparently PeePee's in that. I bet she's amazing. And she almost saved Superman Returns from being the big pile of steaming torturingly bad dogshit that we know it as. Even Kevin "I'm in the closet and I'm never ever, ever, coming out!" Spacey couldn't save that wreck. I went and saw that in the cinema just because she was in it.
See, that's how much I love Pee Pee.

[Dear PeePee, get back with Ryan, for the sake of the children! ie. me!]

Note added by NikkiMaloo: The ever-charming Parker Posey also plays the title character in Fay Grim, which opens at independent cinemas around Melbourne tomorrow. This almost-parody film about espionage sees PeePee jetted to France in order to recover some books written by her former husband in the director's last film Henry Fool, which, instead of being the boring jibberish they were initially deemed as, turn out to be code containing U.S. political secrets and are being hunted globally by the Russian AND Arabic governments. Sounds like a lot of twoddle doesn't it? Well it is, but Parker Posey shines through.

Douze Pointes

Its the time of the year where people congregate in pubs and lounge rooms around the world [mostly Europe but other pockets celebrate it too] and discuss the highs and lows of this years Eurovision. Each year the winning song is met with howls of protest and a song that didn't make it through the finals is cheered.

Its the time of year when your learn who your real friends are [the ones who love Eurovision] and make new friends as people you felt you have nothing in common with confess their dirty little Eurovision-love secret.

This year was the 53rd competition and it definitely hasn't run out of steam.

For english speaking viewers, BBC radio and television broadcaster Terry Wogan's commentary makes it more entertaining as he makes scathing but honest comments about costumes, hosts, and songs . Hell, he comments discouraging about everything! Bjorn Erichsen, director of Eurovision television, criticised Sir Terry Wogan stating "Wogan is a problem because he makes it ridiculous". I'm pretty sure Milkcrate readers will agree Eurovision contestants do do that by themselves with no help from Wogan!

Here in Australia people love it for the bizarre, but in Europe its a very serious contest. Each country whether or not they make it to the finals, get to vote up to 12 points to their favourites [their favourites usually being their neighbouring countries and the occasional 'Please dont attack and take over our country' vote.] So it comes as little surprise Russia usually makes it into the top 3 songs each year.

Each year it becomes more political due to this voting trend, and you can spot which country will vote for who from a mile away. Like block voting between the eastern, Balkan, Baltic and Nordic countries.

The United Kingdom rarely present a song worthy of winning [though Scooch's queerer than queer Air Hostess last year was pretty fantastic] but they will always be in the final, along with Germany, Spain and France as they finance the whole thing.

Being a non-European I don't understand how exactly it could be taken seriously. It's always full of drag queens, amazing stripping costume changes and very bizarre novelty songs.

I personally love the semi-finals. This is where the cracktastic gems are found. Deemed to be too ridiculous to be a contender for the winning song but are loved around the world as an underdog.

This year's semi-finals favourite was Ireland's "Irelande Douze Pointe" by Dustin The Turkey.
Dustin, a hand puppet, mangles his way through a barely audible rant pleading for 12 points. One UK newspaper reported: "Strait-laced bosses at the European Broadcasting Union are checking the rules to see if Dustin can be BARRED. One highly placed source said: “A puppet on Eurovision would make a mockery of all that the contest stands for.”

Really? It certainly summed up Eurovision for me.

Milkcrate's picks were Spain's Baila el Chiki Chiki, (see right) with their Spanish middle-aged Elvis, Bosnia and Herzegovina's Pokušaj with their elderly brides and a washing line and Crotia's Romanca consisting of two elderly dementia-suffering rappers.

There was one song that was outstanding. Outstanding due to it being semi-serious yet amazing and looking like something that would be on the music channels in the english speaking world - Sebastien Tellier [and his golf cart and bearded ladies] with Divine

The song that did win was Dima Bilan with their song 'Believe' from Russia [surprise surprise!] . It had what seem to be the staple elements of a good Eurovision song - singer dressed in white, painful sincerity, a candle and at least one person rolling around on the floor [although it was missing a wind machine or some stripping]. It also had a violin player as well as an ice skater - that looked like Peter Tork from The Monkees - for no reason what so ever other than to take you're attention away from how boring the song was. Keep a look out for the terrifying Bob Downe-esque twist and smile at the camera from the skater.

The song that came third and SHOULD have won was a song called 'Secret Combination' by Kalomira from Greece. This presentation had a controversial shock in that the singer did not at all strip but but more clothes on!

It had the catchy chorus of:

My secret combination
It 's a mystery for you
Use your imagination
I'm not easy but I'm true

and ended with the dazzling lyrics of:

An open book
An open book
Well I'm sorry I am not
Sometimes I'm acting like a lady
Sometimes woman, sometimes baby

So that's Eurovision over for another year. I cant wait for 2009's strangeness hosted in Russia.

Mercy Arms And The Undead

COME ALONG TO THE MELBOURNE ZOMBIE SHUFFLE.

The best way to spend the day is shuffling through Melbourne city with a mass of other zombies.

Photos from last few years zombie shuffles.

Melbourne Zombie shuffle on facebook.

And also some music:

Check out some Mercy Arms tunes here.

Get thee to Ding Dong Lounge

You too can be like that surprised woman and Roman Tucker from Rocket Science!

It's a double serving of Corbett at Ding Dong Lounge on the 18th of April*! See Sixfthick as well as Gentle Ben & His Sensitive Side with support from The Knockouts.

In related news, Rocket Science are playing at the East Brunswick Club on the 10th of May.

The surprised woman pictured above might be seen at Ding Dong, Pony or Tankerville should things get desperate.


*Bugger! Milkcrate are off to see The Raveonettes at The Hi-Fi Bar that night!

Brushes with Fame: How to Cope With Fallen Rock Musicians

I am linked into a government-assisted health organisation for people unable to deal with the real world just yet.

So what do you do when the person that’s helping you turned out to be someone you recognise? When it’s someone you saw on the TV as a kid, when you have one of their albums and would have gone to their gigs if you were in the same city at the time?

I ignored the fact.

A few times I thought, This guy’s fallen so badly he’s now having to deal with me instead of Dylan Lewis. At times I thought about telling him that I knew who he was.

For a guy in a Melbourne band that was popular in the '90s (who isn’t Tim Rogers), he probably may not get that many people who recognise him. It might have been exciting for him.

But I thought, No, this is all about me. For the duration time we are working together I'm going to play dumb. In the future, at some time, I'm going to be famous so he should be happy he’s working with me! He’s the past, I'm the future. And besides, he isn’t Tim Rogers!

So for a year we both played dumb. We spent a lot of time discussing music and I gave him hints I knew who he was by naming nearly every band around the time they were popular. I even stated that each of those bands, and particular band members from each, were my personal heroes for a little time.

He pretended not to know these people personally; he even feigned ignorance of some of them.

I'm wondering if that year of music talk was a bit soul-crushing for him. I wondered if he cried into his pillow, He knows everyone else, why doesn’t he know mmmmeeeeeeeeeee?! Weren’t we good enough?!”

Then he announced he was leaving for greener pastures.

We had one meeting left. I thought I’d confess then. I couldn’t let the opportunity pass.

In a café in Richmond, we sat down for the goodbye talk.

I handed over a CD of theirs that was signed by the band.

He took one look at it and laughed then got excited. I surprised him with my knowledge of his band.

When I lived in the country with my folks I spent a hell of a lot of time memorising facts and trivia about Australian bands in the '90s. So I think I frightened him with my memory and knowledge. Especially since I have trouble remembering yesterday!

So now that we both were honest about who and what we were, we got down to gossip.

Did you know that Molly Meldrum is available to be in a film clip if you give him a bottle of vodka? I didn’t either - but it makes sense!

Did you know that scumbags from radio stations hock off the media copies of albums they get before the album's officially released? What a bunch of arseholes!

Did you know that Ross McLennan is awesome? I did!

I've resisted adding him on Myspace since I met him, because that would have giving it all away.

I resisted going to a gig of his at my local pub. One time I saw him at a gig I was at.

I'm not clear of the protocol of what to do when seeing someone you work with, be they a doctor, shrink, teacher or case worker, and you're drunk off your skull.

I hid.

I think I did the right thing: I didn’t want to explain why I was dancing to Love Is A Battlefield in the middle of the dance floor at our next appointment.

So kids, be careful. Musicians need a day job to support their recording habits and they could pop up anywhere so you’re forced to pretend not to know who the fuck they are/were for the good of the situation.

It might bruise their ego a bit but it's going to help the professionalism. It will give both parties dignity. You don’t want to remind them of how much of a fanboy you are. You don’t want them to ask you if you remember a song of theirs. You don’t want to see the desperation in their eyes that screams “make me feel famous again!”

If you ever find Tim Rogers hanging over your office cubicle asking for some paperwork, don’t bring up his love of ripping off Rolling Stones songs or remind him of that night he was in the Tote snogging young men. He might attack you like he did Mark Holden or act like at the 2004 Falls Festival.

Info about 'The man who isn't Tim Rogers' is here. He has a swanky album out.

Smells Like Converse

Shoe manufacturer Converse, have announced a line of sneakers to commemorate the late Kurt Cobain -- fans of the 90's grunger will now be able to rock their very own morbid piece of footwear with the re-release of the Converse One Star, the very shoe Cobain was reported to be wearing when he shot himself in 1994.

The new One Star will feature a print of Cobain's signature next to the Converse Star logo, and gracing the inside of the shoe the words "Punk rock means freedom". Does it? How retro!

The shoes have been approved by Courtney Love & the Cobain estate and further details will be released by Converse in April.

Chloe Lattanzi. Face. Odd.

It' really no longer a question of whether or not Chloe Lattanzi looks like her father Matt Lattanzi, or her mother Olivia Newton John... Rather, I think the pertinant issue is whether or not she even looks human anymore. Sure, she's had an eating disorder. Sure, she's a terrible singer... but she clearly needs to see a therapist, not a(nother) surgeon.
Chloe. Please. Stop. Now.

Nellie McKay : Crazy, but Fun.

It’s almost too easy these days to slip into a vintage gown, pop on some costume jewellery, talk excessively about your pets and call yourself an eccentric. (Hell, I know I’d wear more vintage frocks, if I had bosoms). Nellie Mckay is the real deal. She even plays the ukulele.

I was invited to go see a show at Largos (*does obnoxious LA accent* “Oh you know Largos, right? Like… Largos…. Oh my god… Largos, is like, y’know, like one of the hippest LA nightspots, like, totally…”) and whilst I baulked at the cover charge : I’m so not in a position to pay $20.00 US for someone I have barely heard of…. I’m SO SO glad I did.

Nellie is blessed with a remarkable voice that echoes Rosemary Clooney's light touch, channels Doris Day's optimism (somewhat ironically) and occasionally comes to the fore as a Courtney Love style “Whatthefuckisyourproblemfuckfeatures?” snarl. She has the most beautiful piano playing hands…. But wait…. It’s not because she has some eating disorder of the Hollywood variety, it’s because she plays exceptional and complex piano. Bless. She’s humble, fun, improvises, takes request and has a dry sardonic wit that translates well to the quiet piano bar type crowd.

She sings of the usual things which seem to occupy songs these days (love, hating Mr Bush), but also sets sanitoriums and suicide to a quirky upbeat piano (Ding Dong!), and has arguably the world’s best original song about zombies (Zombie).



Google her. Buy her music. Enjoy her music.

Tic Toc Tokyo

Milkcrate loves Tic Toc Tokyo - it's true! Ok, well it's confirmed that at least 2 our of 5 current contributors love Tic Toc Tokyo and at least 1 of them will be attending their EP launch in Melbourne's Northcote Social Club tonight.

So, plug:

T T T

15 Mar 2008, 08:00 PM
301 High St. Northcote, Melbourne, Victoria
Cost : $10 on the door

With Plug-In City & Bachelor of Arts.

Even better, Panic! resident DJ Nathan Jones will be DJing up a storm between bands.

Check out Tic Toc Tokyo here.
Check out Nath here.

*Photo stolen from TTT's Myspace where it is credited to Adricongirl.

Film Review - Joy Division

We Built This City On Rock'n'Roll

According to Grant Gee’s documentary Joy Division, in 1976, Manchester was an industrial city in ruin, desperately in need of being rebuilt by a punk rock movement, a movement which was created on the 4th of June when Bernard Sumner and Peter Hook separately attended the infamous Sex Pistols show at Manchester Lesser Trade Hall.

In this chronological re-telling of the history of the late 70s rock band, Joy Division rose from the broken and shattered remains of Manchester and ‘rebuilt’ the city with their bare hands with the release of their critically acclaimed debut Unknown Pleasures.

While this depiction is romantic, and their music had the British media performing cartwheels, months after their debut they still played to a "void in front of the stage" as band member Stephen Morris recalls. The layering between shots of Manchester in ruins and present day locations of former venues (titled in sequence as 'Things That Are Not There') suggest a desolate wasteland remaining without hope since the suicide of Ian Curtis in 1980.

The film is abundant with appearances from Joy Division’s remaining band members, and many others who were associated with the rise of the band (including the late Tony Wilson) however the re-counts seem too polished, almost scripted even.

While a great education for those with little exposure to the band, avid fans will gain little more than reaffirmation of facts that have been well documented in the past and while the film features rare archive footage and recordings from Joy Division’s short career, much of it is poor quality. Little mention is made of the hub of music surrounding Joy Division during that period, nor their impact of musicians around them.

Compared with Anton Corbijn’s recent biopic Control, Joy Division is less visually appealing and fails to pull the heart-strings, instead aiming to stick to the facts and remove the mystery behind the myth.

But in truth, as former band members re-tell the days leading up to the sudden end of Joy Division, you get the lasting impression that none of these men really, ever knew what was going on in the world and mind of Ian Curtis, nor do they know now.