The Bish is Back

If you're interested in Irish philosophy or the civic politics of south-eastern Victoria (and we know you are!) then you can't afford to miss the latest updates to Bishop Berkeley's Backyard, featuring the all-new adventures of everyone's favorite cleric, poet and solipsist. Subjects considered in recent posts include the health benefits of tarwater, the military record of Wittgenstein, the value of stale rye biscuits and the burning need for anti-Leninist makeup. The man is blogging up a storm but he still needs readers, so what are you waiting for? Click on the link and comment, comment, comment! Those Rationalists won't refute themselves!

Happiness Is Jarvis Cocker Spelling His Name

We at Milkcrate were especially excited the receive the following email last night:

As we're sure some of you are already aware, the man is back, so is his groove and he wants to share it with you. Hence, he's giving a series of dance, music and aerobics classes for you all to enjoy live via the Internets right now, or more specifically 12pm til 6pm Parisian time. If
you haven't logged on already, then we're sad to inform you of some of the things you've missed; Jarvis managing a musically accompanied yoga class, a beautiful belly dancer, performing hard rock with class of over excited 8 year olds and numerous jam sessions with an eclectic mix of locals fresh off the street.

So visit http://jarviscocker.net without delay and don't forget to grab your free Mp3 from the imminent "Further Complications."

So without further adew we give you not only music from the man himself, but a spiffy little clip of him spelling his name with big plastic letters.

DEATH TO MUSIC!

A new club night starting on the 31st of october, all DJ's play songs from one year only.

This Week:
Digging up the most diverse and influential music from the year 1978, and only 1978.

Stay tuned to see which years they'll be doing each week at:
http://www.myspace.com/deathtomusicclub
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Melbourne-Australia/Death-To-Music/58177056040?ref=nf

Check it out. ITS FREE!

Happy Towel Day Everyone!

Don't Panic

You haven't missed it.

Grab your towels by the hem hitchhikers! Today is May 25th, otherwise known as Towel Day, A day to pay tribute to that hoopiest frood Douglas Adams by taking your towel with you all day long. An annual tradition that began two weeks after the great author's death in 2001.

From The Hitchhiker's Guide:-

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very, very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

So don't be a strag, take your towel with you and have a pan galactic gargle blaster.

So Long Douglas, and Thanks for All the Fish!

Mercy Arms And The Undead

COME ALONG TO THE MELBOURNE ZOMBIE SHUFFLE.

The best way to spend the day is shuffling through Melbourne city with a mass of other zombies.

Photos from last few years zombie shuffles.

Melbourne Zombie shuffle on facebook.

And also some music:

Check out some Mercy Arms tunes here.

Svetlana and Ivanka : Funny

Elizabeth Sandy, a dear friend and one of the leads in lesbo-noir-extravaganza (can you call your own film an "extravaganza"?) wrote and co stars in this hilarious short... Enjoy. It's 3:53 minutes of some fun, politically incorrect, low budget, high laughs, short filmmaking, shot on location here in LA LA land.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/bbdd38257f
And of course, drop her a note, or give her a vote.

Get thee to Ding Dong Lounge

You too can be like that surprised woman and Roman Tucker from Rocket Science!

It's a double serving of Corbett at Ding Dong Lounge on the 18th of April*! See Sixfthick as well as Gentle Ben & His Sensitive Side with support from The Knockouts.

In related news, Rocket Science are playing at the East Brunswick Club on the 10th of May.

The surprised woman pictured above might be seen at Ding Dong, Pony or Tankerville should things get desperate.


*Bugger! Milkcrate are off to see The Raveonettes at The Hi-Fi Bar that night!

Open Letter

Dear Ryan Adams,

I know you probably have your fair share of stalkers. And I am probably one of them, because I feel like we would be friends if I looked more like Parker Posey and you lived in Melbourne. I didn't think your Tumblr blog was bipolar, and you're right: reachin' out is what normal people do.

If I had a robot cat, I would probably call her "Daryl Hannah Cat The Robot" too. Actually, now I'm thinking about it, I might have called her "Rose McGowan Cat" because I saw Planet Terror recently. And any girl that can pull off having a machine gun for a leg and still look sexy DESERVES to have lots of things named after her.

Love Milkcrate's Unicorn. xx

PS: Ryan, I never had the need to Google unicorn before now, let alone find a link for the bitch! So I thank you for opening another faucet for The Big MC.

Related Link

PPS: And to quote stereogum.com, "From now on if you are going to slag off Ry's Tumblr, don't call it bipolar; its name is Foggy"

The Effect of Anthony Morgan on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds

An hour with Anthony Morgan, is much like an hour with an uncle who doesn't visit the family much. He rambles and attempts to instil life lessons into you gently via stories all with fondness.

Anthony was a mainstay of the comedy circuit for ten years, and having a regular 'correspondent spot' on Channel 7's Denton before throwing it all in and running off to small town Tasmania to build sheds and feed chooks, woodworking and other farm activities before coming over on the ferry to Melbourne with his ute and dog for the Melbourne comedy festival.

Unlike other comedians where you can see them rehashing the 'stories' and you see the gag coming a mile away, Morgan starts on one topic, get distracted by another story before winding back to the original topic, usually with the help of the audience reminding him of what the first topic was.

In this year's show, 'Unrepentant' , Morgan started with taping his 'setlist' of topics to the microphone so the audience could remind him what he had missed and what was next. Topics such as his recent stabbing, Edmund Hiliary's death, travelling snake wranglers and Tidy Towns.

Much like an uncle he was disgusted and annoyed that the syllabus at school has now changed and we all hadn't read The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds, and how some things have change in his lifetime and we all listened in wonder.

He also talked a lot about small town community life. And being a country boy myself, it was a pleasure to be reminded of how things work in the country. Morgan made it sound so good I almost wanted to catch the next train home to see my folks.

The promotional photos for the show were photos taken 12 years ago. He gave an opening announcement 'this guy in the photos isn't playing tonight' and apologised if anyone was disappointed. I don't think anyone was at all.

Morgan may claim memory loss but he's sharp as a tack.



Anthony Morgan's 'Unrepentant' plays until 13th of April at the
European Bier Cafe
Cnr Exhibition & Lt Collins Sts, Melbourne VIC 3000

Blog of the Week

Milkcrate would like to draw your attention to two things.

1. We now have a segment called Blog of the Week, which may or may not appear on a weekly basis.

2. Milkcrate's Blog of the Week for this week is Photoshop Distasters. Clickety click -- if you're one of those who get a kick out of pointing out bad continuity and shitty retouching, you will not be disappointed.

Tic Toc Tokyo

Milkcrate loves Tic Toc Tokyo - it's true! Ok, well it's confirmed that at least 2 our of 5 current contributors love Tic Toc Tokyo and at least 1 of them will be attending their EP launch in Melbourne's Northcote Social Club tonight.

So, plug:

T T T

15 Mar 2008, 08:00 PM
301 High St. Northcote, Melbourne, Victoria
Cost : $10 on the door

With Plug-In City & Bachelor of Arts.

Even better, Panic! resident DJ Nathan Jones will be DJing up a storm between bands.

Check out Tic Toc Tokyo here.
Check out Nath here.

*Photo stolen from TTT's Myspace where it is credited to Adricongirl.